There is no pressure to be anything or anyone other than who you are and that’s what being your Authentic Self means. Though it often feels like others would like us to be something different doesn’t it? And that means being inauthentic and not being true to yourself.
In my first marriage I felt like I had to change- there was an expectation outside of me (from ex-spouse) that I had to be someone different than who I was. That expectation felt like pressure and that I wasn’t good enough.
The pressure came from outside of me. I then put pressure on myself because I wasn’t meeting someone else’s expectations of me. I took that expectation to mean I was unlovable and would be rejected, which I later learned was an unhealthy family pattern.
I had to please others (primarily my mother) to be loved or at least accepted, otherwise I felt unworthy and unwanted. This was an unhealthy pattern to grow up in to say the least and provided lots of opportunity for personal growth! Having expectations of yourself and others creates pain and suffering and a lack of self-love. It felt to me that I was always behind the curve, not good enough, not loveable…always striving to be seen and loved…too much pressure.
I was striving to be loved not knowing that the void was a lack of self-love and that was the love that mattered most along with self-acceptance. I would describe expectations as unrealistic demands that can create pressure and a lack of joy.
When you are able to let go of self-expectations – those unreasonable demands, then that takes the pressure off. Here are a few tips:
!. Can you identify the demand? Is it time, or proving yourself or pleasing someone else? This process begins to create self-awareness and with practice will help you to shift your perspective in the future.
2. Turn your new awareness into an intention that you practice daily. For example, “I am free of the need to prove myself to anyone. I am worthy and deserving. I love myself completely.”
3. Breathe this into your being. I recommend journaling about this intention. How would my life be better if I were free of the need of having to prove myself? This will be a revealing step for you.
As you become more aware of expectations from others and the ones you place on yourself, that will shift the feeling of pressure and not measuring up in some way. It will also alleviate feeling unworthy and unlovable.
The commitment becomes accepting all of who you are right now and loving yourself in this present moment always. That is how you become and embrace your Authentic Self.
Regina Sisco is a channel for the higher realms including the Elemental Kingdom, a Multi-dimensional Healer and Spiritual Life Coach helping her clients to Become their Authentic Selves.