Are You Loveable? 4 Tips to Help You Feel Loveable – Part 4

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womanleapinginairSee my previous blog

Here are some Relationship Indicators to let you know if you don’t feel loveable or deep down really don’t believe you deserve to be loved.

  1.  Do you feel insecure or needy when it comes to relationship? Do you hear yourself saying “I need someone to love me?” Or “Why am I still alone.”

Tip #4

Don’t be too hard on yourself if that is where your thoughts are in that particular moment. What could be some solutions to help you shift how you are feeling?

The feelings of neediness and insecurity come from unresolved issues of the past and any level of resolution that you can have with the past will be helpful.

If your needs were not met in a past relationship—and even with your parents, this lets you know that it is your job to meet your own needs, it’s not anyone else’s including a prospective partner. It’s your job to take care of yourself- physically, emotionally, spiritually and financially.

You can start meeting your needs by making decisions that feel good to you. Don’t just jump into things you really don’t want to do or that don’t feel good to you –especially to please someone else. I assure you that you are worthy of Love. And a real friend or partner will love you no matter what.

This is about you taking care of yourself. Practice things like self-kindness, positive self-talk, self-compassion. When you start paying attention and  making choices that feel good, your ‘neediness’ decreases because you are taking care of yourself. When you take care of yourself you are feeling better and better about you and your life. This also diminishes your insecurities because when you make good decisions it builds your self-confidence!

If you are alone right now- enjoy it. Nothing lasts forever, things always change and evolve.  The happier you are will allow you to attract a partner who is positive and happy too! Wouldn’t that feel fabulous?

 

 Regina Sisco is a certified Life & Relationship Coach. She is an expert with helping people transform their relationship suffering into self-acceptance and relationship bliss. Sign-up for my Free Gift! The Magic Touch – 5 Secrets To Successful Dating Tips on this page.

 

 

Are You Loveable? 4 Tips to Help You Feel Loveable – Part 3

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forgiveSee my previous blog

Here are some Relationship Indicators to let you know if you don’t feel loveable or deep down really don’t believe you deserve to be loved.

  1.  When you feel the relationship is getting hard and communication is difficult for you, do you sabotage the relationship (have bad behavior like saying or doing something cruel) so the other person will end it?

Tip #3

There can be so much to say about Question 3. I have talked with several clients who have been on the receiving end of this behavior and those who have done it.

Someone who is unable to communicate how they feel is afraid, deeply afraid of being hurt. They are unable to take responsibility for their behavior and feelings, so they act out and force the other person to take the action. This person is in need of deep compassion. Not that I am suggesting that you stay with him/her, I would not recommend that at all. The healthiest thing is to end the relationship and move on.

If you are the person who is struggling, the better approach with integrity, is to end/exit the relationship without the hurtful words or behavior. Understand that you have deep seeded issues that are toxic. Bouncing from relationship to relationship is extremely unhealthy and you likely have the belief that you don’t deserve to be loved and you’re afraid of doing any type of self-reflection to heal so that you are able to raise your self-esteem, self-respect and self-confidence.

Without at least an average (and ideally above average) feeling of these three characteristics I listed above, connecting with another in a meaningful way and expressing healthy love will not be possible.

How can you start turning this around and allow yourself to be and feel loveable?

It is probable that you have had some hurtful experiences in the past that have not been healed. You may be blaming yourself, the other person or people, and you may feel shame. These are two very powerful feelings that reinforce low self-esteem and self-worth. Being able to forgive yourself and others is one of the most beneficial ways to free yourself from pain and suffering. When you are in that state of pain and suffering you can feel disconnected from your true self, which creates lack of clarity.

In the Hawaiian culture they have a technique called “Ho’oponopono” which they use to forgive and seek healing and freedom. Think of the person you were hurt by and repeat:

I’m Sorry, Please Forgive Me, Thank You, I Love You.

And you may be thinking, “Regina, I was hurt by that other person, why would I say I’m sorry.” Because this is a higher spiritual principle and there is probably something you want to be forgiven for also.

Repeat this phrase/mantra over and over again until you feel lighter.

“I’m Sorry, Please Forgive Me, Thank You, I Love You.”

If you have time to do it 10-15 minutes a day would be good. This may take several days, or weeks, it really depends on you and your focus. It does take focus and a willingness to be free of the pain and suffering. It works.

I will use this when I hear of something negative on the news to help shift the energy of that particular situation.

It’s time to free yourself and let yourself feel loved!

  

Regina Sisco is a certified Life & Relationship Coach. She is an expert with helping people transform their relationship suffering into self-acceptance and relationship bliss. Sign-up for my Free Gift! The Magic Touch – 5 Secrets To Successful Dating Tips on this page.

 

Are You Loveable? 4 Tips to Help You Feel Loveable – Part 1

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LoveThis is a follow-up to my previous blog.

 

  1. Do you give your power away in relationships? Do you let the other person make most of the decisions? Do you trust your own decisions?

Tip #1:

Why do you and others give their power away in relationships? It’s usually because you don’t feel secure or confident with your own decisions. How do you change that? It’s about believing in yourself more. Take a few minutes and write down the accomplishments in your life, there will be several. You made good-even great decisions to reach that accomplishment, correct? Absolutely! So even though you may not feel confident sometimes in a relationship, do this exercise to re-build your confidence and let that carry over into your relationship.  I am sure you have made a good decisions in relationship too, it’s just that human nature tends to focus on the negative instead of the positive. Take your power back and focus on the positive and all you have to give and offer.

 Relationships are about respect, trust, love and compromise. It also takes you showing up and being an active participant in the relationship. It takes two people to make it work, are you ready to experience something different and magnificently better?

 

 

 

Regina Sisco is a certified Life & Relationship Coach. She is an expert with helping people transform their relationship suffering into self-acceptance and relationship bliss.

Are You Loveable? 4 Tips to Help You Feel Loveable

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Here are some Relationship Indicators to let you know if you don’t feel loveable or deep down really don’t believe you deserve to be loved.

1. Do you give your poweholding handsr away in relationships? Do you let the other person make most of the decisions? Do you trust your own decisions?
2. Do you need to be in charge? Do you make all the arrangements? Do you ask for input from your partner? Or better still, do you dismiss the input from your partner?
3. When you feel the relationship is getting hard and communication is difficult for you, do you sabatoge the relationship (have bad behavior like saying or doing something cruel) so the other person will end it?
4. Do you feel insecure or needy when it comes to relationship? Do you hear yourself saying “I need someone to love me.” Or “Why am I still alone.”

During this month of Love in February I will be giving weekly tips to answer these four Relationship Indicators. Share your stories with me and I will provide advice directly to you on my blog.

Regina Sisco is a certified Life & Relationship Coach. She is an expert with helping people transform their relationship suffering into self-acceptance and relationship bliss. Regina can be reached at [email protected].

 

Being in the Presence of Love?

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I_love_all_that_I_am copyDo you know what being in the presence of love feels like? It feels like honor, trust and surety. You are with a person you can rely on, someone who supports you no matter what is happening. Your partner doesn’t always have to agree with you, or even fully understand your position on something but knowing he/she is always there for you is the presence of love.

It’s a gift knowing you can have someone who shines their light for you and you for them. No one has to be right or wrong, it can be just what is – an experience in this moment in time when you or your partner are growing or releasing some old pattern that is no longer useful.

Being in the presence of love is holding the space of love for your partner and yourself – which may be a bit more challenging. The presence and space of love is no judgment or guilt or doubt. It is a space where all things are possible. Imagine what this feels like — a safe space for love.

Regina Sisco is a Relationship Coach and Divine Matchmaker™ who enjoys helping others to release fear and bring more love into their lives. Her website is www.reginasisco.com and her email is [email protected].

 

©All Rights Reserved 2014

 

 

 

 

 

 

Trusting Your Self

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What’s the value of trusting yourself?  You trust your decisions, your confidence level is higher…what else?

What happens when you don’t trust yourself?  You can make rash decisions, or poor decisions, and you may end up getting mad at yourself or criticizing your decision.  Then what happens? That downward spiral of negative self talk, not feeling good about yourself or your choices, and the big one– not loving yourself happens.

How can you fix this or shift this downward spiral of not trusting yourself?  First, give yourself time to breathe before making decisions. Most of us are usually in a rush, what’s the quick action so I can move on to the next thing? And we are becoming so trained to have an immediate response with the internet, texting, social media etc…  We really forget to just slow down for a few moments and breathe.  Your choices are important – they impact the quality of your life and your relationship with yourself.

Second, place a higher value on your quality of life.  As you are giving yourself a few minutes to breathe before making a choice, you might realize you don’t know what you want to do. In that instance my motto is “do nothing.”  Give yourself sometime to let more information and clarity come to you. Go do something else. It doesn’t take that long maybe an hour, or a few days depending on how involved the situation is you are considering, but the clarity always comes. This results in you making a decision you feel good about that improves the quality of your life.

Third, giving yourself this time and space improves the relationship with yourself. You will be making better decisions and you will feel better about yourself.  Your confidence and self-esteem will grow—and best of all you will love yourself even more. That’s the goal – loving yourself even more and feeling full of your own self-love.  That’s what creates healthy relationships.  When each person loves themselves fully then there is not the expectation that “I need someone else to fill me up.”  The relationship or partnership is a compliment to you. The adventure is exploring how it is you compliment each other! Enjoy!

Regina Sisco is a Relationship Wellness Expert and national internet Radio Show Host of Shining Bright on VoiceAmerica.com. For more information go to www.lifestreamholisticcoaching.com

Self-Respect

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I have a client who wasn’t allowing herself to be treated respectfully in a relationship.  She thought she wasn’t good enough to have a man treat her well.  Since she didn’t value or respect herself, she sought men who treated her the same.  She became aware of her choices that she allowed men in, who in her words were “barely adequate.”  She realized that she viewed herself the same way and knew she had some inner work to do.

Why did she value herself so poorly?  She realized that the childhood abuse created many beliefs and programs that she wasn’t good enough or didn’t deserve much, and that’s how she began living her life. She didn’t deserve much, her own personal worth and value was low.  How did she begin to create the shift for herself?  She started letting go of the past by forgiving those in childhood and perhaps the tougher road of forgiving herself.

Then, I shared some techniques with her to help her release this old program of not valuing herself and to restore her self-esteem and self-respect.  She is fully aware now that her choices matter and that she matters.  When she settled based on past experiences she didn’t receive much.  Now as she is becoming more aware that she is not willing to settle with herself or in a relationship. She understands that she has more work to do.

She has a higher level of self-worth and wants to attract a better quality of life and men.  She respects herself more and sees that she is the driver and creator of her life. She is regaining her power and can now see the path before her.  She is reconnecting to her true self and beginning to allow self love in.

And take a deep breath- breathe that in-

Affirmations:  affirmations are positive statements to read and say outlook to help you maintain a positive outlook.

I know what it feels like to respect myself.  I am opening the door to self-love.

 

Regina Sisco is a Relationship Wellness Expert and national internet Radio Show Host of Shining Bright on VoiceAmerica.com. For more information go to www.lifestreamholisticcoaching.com

Laughter, Fun and Play

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ImageI hope you are enjoying your summer!  Do you remember being a kid and how summers seemed to last forever?  Now as an adult they certainly seem to be zooming by!  I wanted to remind you how good laughter is for us, and sometimes how we might forget to laugh.  I find it amusing when I can laugh at myself for the some of the crazy things I decide to do like listening to my self-critic!  That’s always a good indicator to me, when my self-critic is talking loud, to step back and laugh with myself.  As adults we can all take “things” so seriously, it’s that reminder to have fun and play especially now in the summer.  Even when I’m not really sure what all those “things” are!

I love going for a hike and walking by water, it’s so refreshing and cleansing.  Breathing in fresh air, sitting by the water and enjoying nature.  This is one of my favorite things to do it’s relaxing, revitalizing and fun all in one visit.

It’s important to take time for self-rejuvenation, and being out in nature is one of the best ways to do that.  Do something fun this weekend and enjoy the laughter!

Regina Sisco is a Relationship Wellness Expert and national internet Radio Show Host of Shining Bright on VoiceAmerica.com. For more information go to www.lifestreamholisticcoaching.com

Self-Acceptance

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Do you like who you are?  Do you like how you look?  Are you smart enough or good enough?  Most of us have pretty tough self-critics.  Our self-critic is that voice in your head that is usually telling you what you are doing wrong.  Like “Are you really going to where that?”  How does that make you feel?  Not very good right?

 

So how do we quiet our self-critic?  We do this by accepting ourselves and loving ourselves.  We also do this by being willing to make a new choice.  If there is something we don’t like about ourselves we have a choice to change it or simply accept it as it is for now.  Most women I know don’t like something about them selves.  Let’s say someone is a little overweight.  They beat themselves up for not exercising, or eating better etc…

 

A way to change from the negative to the positive is by making a new choice.  In this scenario the new choice is I no longer want to beat myself up. Instead of the self-critic, the self-accepter shows up and sounds like this:

 

I choose to feel good about myself.

I will feel good about myself by taking a new action to change.

I choose to go for a 20-minute walk three times a week.

I choose to have healthy snacks in the house instead of junk food.

I accept who I am and who I want to become.

I feel good about my new choices and me.

 

The more we can accept ourselves in any given moment, the more we will love ourselves too. Self-loves inspires us to our best, confident self.

 

 

 

Regina Sisco is a Relationship Wellness Expert and national internet Radio Show Host of Shining Bright on VoiceAmerica.com. For more information go to www.lifestreamholisticcoaching.com