Are You Ready To Date?

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After a major break-up or divorce it takes time to heal and regain your equilibrium.  Many of my clients tell me that they want to be in a relationship again or be married again soon after the relationship has ended.  That’s a pleasant idea for down the road… but not too soon.

It’s important to give yourself time to heal and give yourself some perspective on what really happened.  He left you, you left him, and life goes on right? Yes it certainly does but what about the quality of your life?  What about the quality of your future relationship(s)?  That should matter to you.  We all know women and men who seem to hop from one relationship to the next without giving themselves time to assess—to really look at what worked and what didn’t work in the relationship.

We all have behavior patterns that are healthy and some that are not healthy at all, especially when it comes to relationships. Here are a few questions to reflect on:

–         Do you date the same type of person over and over?

–         How do you expect to be treated?

–         What do you want out of the relationship?

If you are ready for a committed relationship these things are important to consider.  What do you really want out of a relationship? Fun? Sex? Companionship?  Do you want commitment, intimacy, mutual support, respect and deep love?  If you do you have now just crossed over the line into work and commitment in the relationship to have that true divine union, trust, love, intimacy, and joy. It takes work, you have to know yourself and what you truly want in a relationship. It takes a mutual exchange and a mutual level of commitment – that give and take to support each other in your own individual growth and then as a couple.

The “knowing who you are and what you want” is critical. Women can sometimes loose themselves in the relationship and in their partner and no longer know who they are.  Before dating, be prepared– really to do your homework. There is nothing more important than your personal happiness!

 

Regina Sisco is a Relationship Wellness Expert and national internet Radio Show Host of Shining Bright on VoiceAmerica.com. For more information go to www.lifestreamholisticcoaching.com

Self-Respect

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I have a client who wasn’t allowing herself to be treated respectfully in a relationship.  She thought she wasn’t good enough to have a man treat her well.  Since she didn’t value or respect herself, she sought men who treated her the same.  She became aware of her choices that she allowed men in, who in her words were “barely adequate.”  She realized that she viewed herself the same way and knew she had some inner work to do.

Why did she value herself so poorly?  She realized that the childhood abuse created many beliefs and programs that she wasn’t good enough or didn’t deserve much, and that’s how she began living her life. She didn’t deserve much, her own personal worth and value was low.  How did she begin to create the shift for herself?  She started letting go of the past by forgiving those in childhood and perhaps the tougher road of forgiving herself.

Then, I shared some techniques with her to help her release this old program of not valuing herself and to restore her self-esteem and self-respect.  She is fully aware now that her choices matter and that she matters.  When she settled based on past experiences she didn’t receive much.  Now as she is becoming more aware that she is not willing to settle with herself or in a relationship. She understands that she has more work to do.

She has a higher level of self-worth and wants to attract a better quality of life and men.  She respects herself more and sees that she is the driver and creator of her life. She is regaining her power and can now see the path before her.  She is reconnecting to her true self and beginning to allow self love in.

And take a deep breath- breathe that in-

Affirmations:  affirmations are positive statements to read and say outlook to help you maintain a positive outlook.

I know what it feels like to respect myself.  I am opening the door to self-love.

 

Regina Sisco is a Relationship Wellness Expert and national internet Radio Show Host of Shining Bright on VoiceAmerica.com. For more information go to www.lifestreamholisticcoaching.com

Laughter, Fun and Play

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ImageI hope you are enjoying your summer!  Do you remember being a kid and how summers seemed to last forever?  Now as an adult they certainly seem to be zooming by!  I wanted to remind you how good laughter is for us, and sometimes how we might forget to laugh.  I find it amusing when I can laugh at myself for the some of the crazy things I decide to do like listening to my self-critic!  That’s always a good indicator to me, when my self-critic is talking loud, to step back and laugh with myself.  As adults we can all take “things” so seriously, it’s that reminder to have fun and play especially now in the summer.  Even when I’m not really sure what all those “things” are!

I love going for a hike and walking by water, it’s so refreshing and cleansing.  Breathing in fresh air, sitting by the water and enjoying nature.  This is one of my favorite things to do it’s relaxing, revitalizing and fun all in one visit.

It’s important to take time for self-rejuvenation, and being out in nature is one of the best ways to do that.  Do something fun this weekend and enjoy the laughter!

Regina Sisco is a Relationship Wellness Expert and national internet Radio Show Host of Shining Bright on VoiceAmerica.com. For more information go to www.lifestreamholisticcoaching.com

Self-Acceptance

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Do you like who you are?  Do you like how you look?  Are you smart enough or good enough?  Most of us have pretty tough self-critics.  Our self-critic is that voice in your head that is usually telling you what you are doing wrong.  Like “Are you really going to where that?”  How does that make you feel?  Not very good right?

 

So how do we quiet our self-critic?  We do this by accepting ourselves and loving ourselves.  We also do this by being willing to make a new choice.  If there is something we don’t like about ourselves we have a choice to change it or simply accept it as it is for now.  Most women I know don’t like something about them selves.  Let’s say someone is a little overweight.  They beat themselves up for not exercising, or eating better etc…

 

A way to change from the negative to the positive is by making a new choice.  In this scenario the new choice is I no longer want to beat myself up. Instead of the self-critic, the self-accepter shows up and sounds like this:

 

I choose to feel good about myself.

I will feel good about myself by taking a new action to change.

I choose to go for a 20-minute walk three times a week.

I choose to have healthy snacks in the house instead of junk food.

I accept who I am and who I want to become.

I feel good about my new choices and me.

 

The more we can accept ourselves in any given moment, the more we will love ourselves too. Self-loves inspires us to our best, confident self.

 

 

 

Regina Sisco is a Relationship Wellness Expert and national internet Radio Show Host of Shining Bright on VoiceAmerica.com. For more information go to www.lifestreamholisticcoaching.com