Category Archives: trust

Are You Loveable? 4 Tips to Help You Feel Loveable – Part 4

womanleapinginairSee my previous blog

Here are some Relationship Indicators to let you know if you don’t feel loveable or deep down really don’t believe you deserve to be loved.

  1.  Do you feel insecure or needy when it comes to relationship? Do you hear yourself saying “I need someone to love me?” Or “Why am I still alone.”

Tip #4

Don’t be too hard on yourself if that is where your thoughts are in that particular moment. What could be some solutions to help you shift how you are feeling?

The feelings of neediness and insecurity come from unresolved issues of the past and any level of resolution that you can have with the past will be helpful.

If your needs were not met in a past relationship—and even with your parents, this lets you know that it is your job to meet your own needs, it’s not anyone else’s including a prospective partner. It’s your job to take care of yourself- physically, emotionally, spiritually and financially.

You can start meeting your needs by making decisions that feel good to you. Don’t just jump into things you really don’t want to do or that don’t feel good to you –especially to please someone else. I assure you that you are worthy of Love. And a real friend or partner will love you no matter what.

This is about you taking care of yourself. Practice things like self-kindness, positive self-talk, self-compassion. When you start paying attention and  making choices that feel good, your ‘neediness’ decreases because you are taking care of yourself. When you take care of yourself you are feeling better and better about you and your life. This also diminishes your insecurities because when you make good decisions it builds your self-confidence!

If you are alone right now- enjoy it. Nothing lasts forever, things always change and evolve.  The happier you are will allow you to attract a partner who is positive and happy too! Wouldn’t that feel fabulous?

 

 Regina Sisco is a certified Life & Relationship Coach. She is an expert with helping people transform their relationship suffering into self-acceptance and relationship bliss. Sign-up for my Free Gift! The Magic Touch – 5 Secrets To Successful Dating Tips on this page.

 

 

Are You Loveable? 4 Tips to Help You Feel Loveable – Part 3

forgiveSee my previous blog

Here are some Relationship Indicators to let you know if you don’t feel loveable or deep down really don’t believe you deserve to be loved.

  1.  When you feel the relationship is getting hard and communication is difficult for you, do you sabotage the relationship (have bad behavior like saying or doing something cruel) so the other person will end it?

Tip #3

There can be so much to say about Question 3. I have talked with several clients who have been on the receiving end of this behavior and those who have done it.

Someone who is unable to communicate how they feel is afraid, deeply afraid of being hurt. They are unable to take responsibility for their behavior and feelings, so they act out and force the other person to take the action. This person is in need of deep compassion. Not that I am suggesting that you stay with him/her, I would not recommend that at all. The healthiest thing is to end the relationship and move on.

If you are the person who is struggling, the better approach with integrity, is to end/exit the relationship without the hurtful words or behavior. Understand that you have deep seeded issues that are toxic. Bouncing from relationship to relationship is extremely unhealthy and you likely have the belief that you don’t deserve to be loved and you’re afraid of doing any type of self-reflection to heal so that you are able to raise your self-esteem, self-respect and self-confidence.

Without at least an average (and ideally above average) feeling of these three characteristics I listed above, connecting with another in a meaningful way and expressing healthy love will not be possible.

How can you start turning this around and allow yourself to be and feel loveable?

It is probable that you have had some hurtful experiences in the past that have not been healed. You may be blaming yourself, the other person or people, and you may feel shame. These are two very powerful feelings that reinforce low self-esteem and self-worth. Being able to forgive yourself and others is one of the most beneficial ways to free yourself from pain and suffering. When you are in that state of pain and suffering you can feel disconnected from your true self, which creates lack of clarity.

In the Hawaiian culture they have a technique called “Ho’oponopono” which they use to forgive and seek healing and freedom. Think of the person you were hurt by and repeat:

I’m Sorry, Please Forgive Me, Thank You, I Love You.

And you may be thinking, “Regina, I was hurt by that other person, why would I say I’m sorry.” Because this is a higher spiritual principle and there is probably something you want to be forgiven for also.

Repeat this phrase/mantra over and over again until you feel lighter.

“I’m Sorry, Please Forgive Me, Thank You, I Love You.”

If you have time to do it 10-15 minutes a day would be good. This may take several days, or weeks, it really depends on you and your focus. It does take focus and a willingness to be free of the pain and suffering. It works.

I will use this when I hear of something negative on the news to help shift the energy of that particular situation.

It’s time to free yourself and let yourself feel loved!

  

Regina Sisco is a certified Life & Relationship Coach. She is an expert with helping people transform their relationship suffering into self-acceptance and relationship bliss. Sign-up for my Free Gift! The Magic Touch – 5 Secrets To Successful Dating Tips on this page.

 

Are You Loveable? 4 Tips to Help You Feel Loveable – Part 2

heart candlesSee my previous blog

Here are some Relationship Indicators to let you know if you don’t feel loveable or deep down really don’t believe you deserve to be loved.

  1. Do you need to be in charge? Do you make all the arrangements? Do you ask for input from your partner? Or better still, do you dismiss the input from your partner?

Tip #2

It’s all about love isn’t it? What does loving behavior look like to you? How is love communicated? How does it feel?

The questions above describe someone with a ‘controlling’ personality or at least a strong ‘controlling’ characteristic. Someone who has to know it all, have all the answers, tells others what to do without asking or getting input. You have met that type of person before, right? You may have even been married to one? If you are perfectly honest, you have had some of those behaviors yourself too. Some of the time it is normal:  most of us have a little of that.

However, when it is overpowering, it is out of balance and a less than ideal way of treating another person. It’s disrespectful and inconsiderate. Why do some people behave that way? The short answer is they don’t love themselves very much. They are insecure and full of self-doubt. The controlling behavior is a mask to feel ‘strong’ because inside he/she does not feel that way at all.

Here are few tips to help change this behavior if you have these. Start by being kind to yourself. What is it that you don’t like about yourself? You might ask ‘How do I know what that is?’ Here’s an example. You might know someone that drives you crazy. What is it about that person that drives you crazy? That trait is something you have within yourself that you don’t like about you. Here’s the good news — you can change it!

Maybe your friend doesn’t listen and talks over people. This drives you crazy. Pay attention- do you do that to people? The answer is probably yes, or you do something similar. If you don’t like being treated that way, then don’t treat someone else that way. Make a new choice — this will require some positive self-talk “I am going to be patient when listening to others.” “I am going to slow down and be present, I am interested in what this person is sharing with me.” “I intend to listen with an open mind and not be judgmental or critical.” This is how you create change for the better and how you can change the things that you don’t like about yourself. Make new choices about how you want to feel in your life. Treat yourself better as well as the people around you.

Ask questions in a relationship, have dialogue, and ask for input. Asking questions and communicating is not a weakness:  its called consideration. When you treat yourself in a loving way, you will treat others in a loving way and will be treated that way in return. Love isn’t about control, it’s about sharing. And isn’t that what you seek, sharing and intimacy on all levels?

 

Regina Sisco is a certified Life & Relationship Coach. She is an expert with helping people transform their relationship suffering into self-acceptance and relationship bliss. Sign-up for my Free Gift! The Magic Touch – 5 Secrets To Successful Dating Tips.

 

Are You Loveable? 4 Tips to Help You Feel Loveable – Part 1

LoveThis is a follow-up to my previous blog.

 

  1. Do you give your power away in relationships? Do you let the other person make most of the decisions? Do you trust your own decisions?

Tip #1:

Why do you and others give their power away in relationships? It’s usually because you don’t feel secure or confident with your own decisions. How do you change that? It’s about believing in yourself more. Take a few minutes and write down the accomplishments in your life, there will be several. You made good-even great decisions to reach that accomplishment, correct? Absolutely! So even though you may not feel confident sometimes in a relationship, do this exercise to re-build your confidence and let that carry over into your relationship.  I am sure you have made a good decisions in relationship too, it’s just that human nature tends to focus on the negative instead of the positive. Take your power back and focus on the positive and all you have to give and offer.

 Relationships are about respect, trust, love and compromise. It also takes you showing up and being an active participant in the relationship. It takes two people to make it work, are you ready to experience something different and magnificently better?

 

 

 

Regina Sisco is a certified Life & Relationship Coach. She is an expert with helping people transform their relationship suffering into self-acceptance and relationship bliss.

Are You Loveable? 4 Tips to Help You Feel Loveable

Here are some Relationship Indicators to let you know if you don’t feel loveable or deep down really don’t believe you deserve to be loved.

1. Do you give your poweholding handsr away in relationships? Do you let the other person make most of the decisions? Do you trust your own decisions?
2. Do you need to be in charge? Do you make all the arrangements? Do you ask for input from your partner? Or better still, do you dismiss the input from your partner?
3. When you feel the relationship is getting hard and communication is difficult for you, do you sabatoge the relationship (have bad behavior like saying or doing something cruel) so the other person will end it?
4. Do you feel insecure or needy when it comes to relationship? Do you hear yourself saying “I need someone to love me.” Or “Why am I still alone.”

During this month of Love in February I will be giving weekly tips to answer these four Relationship Indicators. Share your stories with me and I will provide advice directly to you on my blog.

Regina Sisco is a certified Life & Relationship Coach. She is an expert with helping people transform their relationship suffering into self-acceptance and relationship bliss. Regina can be reached at info@reginasisco.com.

 

February The Month Of Love 28 Days Of Divine Love Inspiration

heart background    We all know February is the month of Love. Yes it’s about romantic love and sharing that love with another. And it’s also about loving yourself, because if you don’t have a high level of self-love then you won’t have the amazing high quality relationship that you seek if you are single. If you are in a love relationship, this month is an excellent time to renew and rejuvenate your intimacy, communication, and how you treat each other. This month you can set  “the bar” that you hold your relationship up to all year.

I am so excited to share my Divine Love Inspiration with you this month.

 

Day One – Love Inspiration – Trusting Love

The foundation of every relationship is trust and it needs to be nurtured all the time. You need to develop trust for yourself everyday and if you are in a relationship or want to be in a relationship trust needs to be cultivated daily with your partner.

Why is that? Because most people have been hurt or betrayed somewhere in life, and yes this heals over time but the old wound can be triggered unknowingly at the blink of an eye. Trust provides reassurance when old fears come up. You’ve heard the phrase “actions speak louder than words.” To sustain and grow trust in a relationship your loving actions will show your partner how much you mean to them. And if you are single your loving actions to yourself reinforces your own self-love and self-trust and that is priceless!

Regina Sisco is a Relationship Coach and Divine Matchmaker™ who enjoys helping others bring more love into their lives. Her website is www.reginasisco.com and her email is info@reginasisco.com.

 

©All Rights Reserved 2014

Are You Ready To Date?

After a major break-up or divorce it takes time to heal and regain your equilibrium.  Many of my clients tell me that they want to be in a relationship again or be married again soon after the relationship has ended.  That’s a pleasant idea for down the road… but not too soon.

It’s important to give yourself time to heal and give yourself some perspective on what really happened.  He left you, you left him, and life goes on right? Yes it certainly does but what about the quality of your life?  What about the quality of your future relationship(s)?  That should matter to you.  We all know women and men who seem to hop from one relationship to the next without giving themselves time to assess—to really look at what worked and what didn’t work in the relationship.

We all have behavior patterns that are healthy and some that are not healthy at all, especially when it comes to relationships. Here are a few questions to reflect on:

-         Do you date the same type of person over and over?

-         How do you expect to be treated?

-         What do you want out of the relationship?

If you are ready for a committed relationship these things are important to consider.  What do you really want out of a relationship? Fun? Sex? Companionship?  Do you want commitment, intimacy, mutual support, respect and deep love?  If you do you have now just crossed over the line into work and commitment in the relationship to have that true divine union, trust, love, intimacy, and joy. It takes work, you have to know yourself and what you truly want in a relationship. It takes a mutual exchange and a mutual level of commitment – that give and take to support each other in your own individual growth and then as a couple.

The “knowing who you are and what you want” is critical. Women can sometimes loose themselves in the relationship and in their partner and no longer know who they are.  Before dating, be prepared– really to do your homework. There is nothing more important than your personal happiness!

 

Regina Sisco is a Relationship Wellness Expert and national internet Radio Show Host of Shining Bright on VoiceAmerica.com. For more information go to www.lifestreamholisticcoaching.com

Trusting Your Self

What’s the value of trusting yourself?  You trust your decisions, your confidence level is higher…what else?

What happens when you don’t trust yourself?  You can make rash decisions, or poor decisions, and you may end up getting mad at yourself or criticizing your decision.  Then what happens? That downward spiral of negative self talk, not feeling good about yourself or your choices, and the big one– not loving yourself happens.

How can you fix this or shift this downward spiral of not trusting yourself?  First, give yourself time to breathe before making decisions. Most of us are usually in a rush, what’s the quick action so I can move on to the next thing? And we are becoming so trained to have an immediate response with the internet, texting, social media etc…  We really forget to just slow down for a few moments and breathe.  Your choices are important – they impact the quality of your life and your relationship with yourself.

Second, place a higher value on your quality of life.  As you are giving yourself a few minutes to breathe before making a choice, you might realize you don’t know what you want to do. In that instance my motto is “do nothing.”  Give yourself sometime to let more information and clarity come to you. Go do something else. It doesn’t take that long maybe an hour, or a few days depending on how involved the situation is you are considering, but the clarity always comes. This results in you making a decision you feel good about that improves the quality of your life.

Third, giving yourself this time and space improves the relationship with yourself. You will be making better decisions and you will feel better about yourself.  Your confidence and self-esteem will grow—and best of all you will love yourself even more. That’s the goal – loving yourself even more and feeling full of your own self-love.  That’s what creates healthy relationships.  When each person loves themselves fully then there is not the expectation that “I need someone else to fill me up.”  The relationship or partnership is a compliment to you. The adventure is exploring how it is you compliment each other! Enjoy!

Regina Sisco is a Relationship Wellness Expert and national internet Radio Show Host of Shining Bright on VoiceAmerica.com. For more information go to www.lifestreamholisticcoaching.com