I mean do you really know who you are? When you introduce yourself you say “Hi, my name is _____ “ and you give your name. You may be Patty or Joe. Great. Who are you? You may think of traits that describe you like “I have a sense of humor, I’m kind, intelligent” etc…Or you have may other traits like “I’m bossy, controlling, or inflexible.” We all have both. I ask you again, “Who are You?”
After a major break-up or divorce it takes time to heal and regain your equilibrium. Many of my clients tell me that they want to be in a relationship again or be married again soon after the relationship has ended. That’s a pleasant idea for down the road… but not too soon.
It’s important to give yourself time to heal and give yourself some perspective on what really happened. He left you, you left him, and life goes on right? Yes it certainly does but what about the quality of your life? What about the quality of your future relationship(s)? That should matter to you. We all know women and men who seem to hop from one relationship to the next without giving themselves time to assess—to really look at what worked and what didn’t work in the relationship.
We all have behavior patterns that are healthy and some that are not healthy at all, especially when it comes to relationships. Here are a few questions to reflect on:
– Do you date the same type of person over and over?
– How do you expect to be treated?
– What do you want out of the relationship?
If you are ready for a committed relationship these things are important to consider. What do you really want out of a relationship? Fun? Sex? Companionship? Do you want commitment, intimacy, mutual support, respect and deep love? If you do you have now just crossed over the line into work and commitment in the relationship to have that true divine union, trust, love, intimacy, and joy. It takes work, you have to know yourself and what you truly want in a relationship. It takes a mutual exchange and a mutual level of commitment – that give and take to support each other in your own individual growth and then as a couple.
The “knowing who you are and what you want” is critical. Women can sometimes loose themselves in the relationship and in their partner and no longer know who they are. Before dating, be prepared– really to do your homework. There is nothing more important than your personal happiness!
Regina Sisco is a Relationship Wellness Expert and national internet Radio Show Host of Shining Bright on VoiceAmerica.com. For more information go to www.lifestreamholisticcoaching.com